Counterfeit Peace: When Moral Standards are Compromised

Posted By at Monday, October 05, 2015

We often hear about Christianity being a religion of peace, and for the most part it is.  So, it is worth reflecting on why Christians, Catholics in particular, have drawn so much ire over the course of history often resulting in being marginalized in societies and at times physically persecuted.  Why is it that the fact that someone claims to be a Christian has resulted in them being harmed physically?  We can trace that back to St. John the Baptist, and yes our Lord Jesus Christ Himself.  Yes, the reason is Catholics have a moral standard, and we are supposed to abide by it to the best of our abilities.  What’s at stake is nothing less than the eternal future of our immortal souls.  This is why so many martyrs throughout history went to their deaths instead of compromising their morals or standards. 

So once again, we are starting to see this rear its ugly head more and more in our own day and age.  As was pointed out by a very good episode of Church Militant’s Vortex, the reason the immoral acts that are being legalized today were recently illegal is because of the Catholic moral law.  This is the unchanging standard that all of humanity is to live by because it is the standard of behavior instructed by God through His Church.  This is not to say that everyone has to become Catholic.  The theological beliefs, the “Faith” part of “Faith and morals,” are a gift from God that may not necessarily clearly be granted to all.  So someone might have different beliefs about God and creation and the Savior, etc but moral behavior still should be consistent among all of humanity.

So what’s this got to do with family?  Silly question right?  I’m sure just these few sentences have all of our emotions in an uproar when we start to see the kinds of evil that are being thrust upon the culture (principally the children) with an attempt to normalize them.  It is once again an effort by human beings to blur the lines away from any concrete standard so that they can participate in the pleasurable acts that should be forbidden.  The problem with that is that those acts often will not only damn that person’s soul but also the one with whom he or she participates.  Either that or the person takes advantage of an innocent person for their own selfish pleasure.  It’s evil either way it is carried out.

As leaders of families we are charged with keeping the lines clear and un-blurred.  We must clearly instruct in word and in deed the moral teaching of the Church.  The principal challenge in today’s world is to teach this in deed.  The problem for most of us comes when our extended families fail to see things as clearly as we do or to see the urgency of the situation or to agree with the methods we embrace in this responsibility to educate.  A certain Gospel passage comes to mind with words from our Lord Himself:

Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?  No, I tell you, but rather division. From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three; a father will be divided against his son and a son against his father, a mother against her daughter and a daughter against her mother, a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. (Luke 12:51-53)

Here we hear Christ Himself draw the line on where peace in this life ends and where conflict begins.  When we as parents have determined a way in which we will guard the morality of our families, no one is to be allowed to get in the way of that, all the way down to our blood relatives.  This is a challenge to us as Catholics and worth serious reflection when we authentically discern the price we seek to pay for “peace.”

Of course in terms of Catholicism what we’re speaking of here is the principle of guarding ourselves and our family members against the near occasions of sin, those people, places, and things that will likely cause a temptation for us to sin.  The most common example of that today, as Our Lady of Fatima warned of most souls going to hell for sins of the flesh, is the rampant immodesty of females in their mode of dress and behavior.  A recommended way to guard against that is by a moderate mode of dress for the females in our families.  The extremes are on either side of the Catholic mode of moderation that respects and reveres feminine beauty:  you have the muslims who put their women and girls in burkas, and you have pagans that permit women and girls to run around half-naked in public at times in the equivalent of underwear revealing very private parts of their anatomy.  This is sinful against the teaching of the Church as the Catechism demands that we practice modesty:  Modesty is decency. It inspires one's choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.”  (¶2522)  “It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.” (¶2521) The Catechism also requires that we educate our children in this practice:  “So called moral permissiveness rests on an erroneous conception of human freedom; the necessary precondition for the development of true freedom is to let oneself be educated in the moral law. Those in charge of education can reasonably be expected to give young people instruction respectful of the truth, the qualities of the heart, and the moral and spiritual dignity of man.” (¶2526)  So this requires that we instruct our sons to avoid those people, places, and things where this is not the mode of dress for females.  This would include places where females are immodestly dressed as well as entertainment (movies and television).  When such things cannot be avoided by one’s own choice, the young men should be trained in custody of the eyes and turning away from those sources of temptation and displays of indignity.  This may appear by some to be extreme but when we put the standards on a continuum we can see that it falls at a level of moderation between the extremes on either side present in the world. 

We as parents, principally the fathers, are charged with instilling this into our children by teaching them and then guiding them along the way as circumstances of life continue to transpire.  They will be trained on how to act and to react when situations become challenging and tempting.  As fathers, we need to stand firm in this resolve because it will be challenged often by those closest to us.  I will often hear or sense that fathers will think they cannot stand firm on some of these issues because they lack perfection.  Of course if that is the case, then no one but God can stand in a place of authority.  But God requires us even in our weakness to stand in that place, just as a Priest stands in His place for the faithful.  None of them are perfect either, but God has given them a role to fulfill, as He has us.  That being said though I have noticed that when I am not doing my best with myself it does cause me to be more lax in the role of authority.  That’s not necessarily a good thing.  We need to be firm in standing guard in this all important area for our families.  No we won’t be perfect ourselves, but we can tell when we are not trying our best.  There was a great motivator Jim Rohn who said what most “messes with the mind” is when a person is doing less than that which he is capable.  And of course when we fathers do fall short and sin, we humbly confess our sins to the Priest in confession.  That is his place, and we submit to his authority there.  A wise Spiritual Director once told me that there are two things a father should rarely say:  “I love you” and “I’m sorry.”  I took that to mean that my actions were to indicate such more than simple cheap words.

God bless you+


Catholic Father: Priest of His Domestic Church

Posted By at Tuesday, September 29, 2015

During Mass this past Sunday, the Priest explained in his homily the required elements of a Catholic Church building.   Every Catholic Church must have a pulpit, a confessional, and an altar.  He went on to apply these elements to the domestic church we should each have in our homes.  I thought this would be a good theme for a reflection in applying his instruction in our homes.

The Pulpit – The pulpit in our homes would include all of the Holy books and instructional material available for our families to read and study, principally the Holy Bible as well as catechisms, volumes on the lives of the saints, religious classics, prayer books, and other authoritative documents.

It is a joy for me as a father to share the Catholic Faith with my family and to pass it on to my children.  The richness of our Faith is the true Heritage that we give to them that transcends any ethnicity or nationality.  In our family, we have gradually accumulated many great Works for study and learning of our entire family.  We’ll have those moments when even the adult progeny (it’s strange to refer to them as children—a weakness of the English language) will come up with a question or something they are contemplating where they will need a source to reference to get an answer. 

I remember just starting out as a young family we had some basic things like a Bible, and then the new Catechism came out, and we got that.  From there we just knew what to look for and what was good and what to avoid.  We became with the great publishers like Tan and Ignatius.  It seemed like we just had a hunger for the Faith and to learn things ourselves on an adult level, and then that has just rubbed off on the kids.  This is the pulpit of the domestic Church.   Kids need to see their parents really have a love and hunger for the Faith.  They should be able to obviously see this in their father.  If the wife is the spiritual head of the home, as the children grow they will come to see religion as just a feminine thing.  A strong lead by the Father in knowing the Faith and teaching it to his children is part of fulfilling his role of priest in his domestic Church.

The Confessional – The confessional in our homes would be the accountability that we all have in each of our duties of our state in life.  Children are held accountable by their parents; they are to be obedient to their mother and father.  It is by this training that children learn right and wrong and that they have to exercise self-denial and self-control against breaking house rules or committing other sins.  It is in this sense of informing and exercising the conscience that they will eventually regulate themselves when they are older.   We as adults also have to be accountable for our actions as well and have to hold ourselves accountable.  We should daily examine our consciences and confess our sins to God and make regular use of Sacramental Confession to receive absolution and grace and train our children to do this as well.

The father as the head of the home has the ultimate authority, and this includes holding everyone else in the home accountable.  Someone has to be the final line of authority, and Christ has appointed the father of the family to that role.  There is no such thing as dual-authority or co-headship or co-leadership.  If anyone states that their marriage is oriented as such, it means that the wife has taken over leadership in the relationship or has always had it.  It is very common today and frequently occurs during the dating relationship of the couple especially if they compromise themselves sexually before marriage.  When a man has compromised himself this way, it is very simple for the wife to be in control of the relationship.  When sin is welcomed in a relationship, Satan twists things and makes them backward.  It takes a while once married and returning to a state of grace to get the roles corrected and coordinated properly.  Unfortunately, most never do since often contraception has been introduced and the relationship continues to be robbed of grace during the marriage years as well. 

An apparent situation of a controlling wife came to my attention a couple of weeks ago in a grocery store.  I was with my 17-year-old son and was looking at the merchandise on the shelf.  I noticed a couple of young boys with their parents, and they caught my attention because they were decked out in their LSU garb for the day’s football game.  Well I just heard one of the kids say something about making a decision, and that would have been a bit of a mature thing for him to say at his age.  My son then muttered to me, “That’s a miserable life.”  I said “Why’s that.”  He said what had happened was that the dad was looking for something, and his wife and kids were waiting for him.  So she relayed the statement through the little kid to his father that “Mom said you need to make a decision.”  Now obviously their whole relationship can’t be judged on this one incident, and it would be totally improper to do so.  But just as a case for example, the scenario speaks volumes.  Chances are because of the prevalence of the feminist ideology in society, that lady wore the pants in the family.  It certainly sounded like she did.  I know my wife would never make a statement like that to me, much less through one of the kids.  The message being driven through those kids minds with that type of behavior is poison. 

The father’s leadership in the home should be honorable and respectful of all but it should also be firm with resolve.  His plans and actions for the family should be well thought out, and his family members should work together to carry out those plans.  His wife should honor him in his role and never disrespect him, especially in front of their children.  Her obedience to him is out of obedience to God, and her actions are setting an example to them to be obedient or disobedient, respectful or disrespectful. 

The Altar The altar in our homes is the crucifix that takes the most prominent place.  It is here that the family gathers to pray on a regular basis.  Family prayer is vital for the members’ spiritual well-being.  So many fruits are granted when a family gathers to pray.  All are assisted in carrying out their duties.  The parents are granted wisdom in having their thoughts and judgment guided toward carrying out the duties of their respective roles. 

Pope Francis advises parents on the importance of the family praying together.  In a Homily for Family Day during the Year of Faith, on October 27, 2013 he said:

 “Praying the Our Father together, around the table, is not something extraordinary:  it’s easy.  And praying the Rosary together as a family, is very beautiful and a source of great strength!  And also praying for one another!  The husband for his wife, the wife for her husband, both together for their children, the children for their grandparents…praying for each other.  This is what it means to pray in the family and it is what makes the family strong:  prayer.  (Theresa Aletheia Noble, FSP and Donna Giaimo, FSP, Give Us This Day our Daily Love (Boston; Pauline Books & Media, 2015), p 38)

God bless you+


VIDEO: Integrity - Requisite for Catholic Parents

Posted By at Tuesday, September 29, 2015

We parents are the PRIMARY educators of our children, and how do people ESPECIALLY children learn?  They learn by OBSERVATION.  If we are saying one thing and behaving and doing something else, our children will quickly become confused.



Hello everyone, and welcome back to Fix the Family. My name is Raylan Alleman, and we are bringing you truth without compromise for the family. 

Welcome to our blog edition; a little quick fix for you on this September 24, 2015.  As we speak, the Holy Father, the Vicar of Christ, the Bishop of Rome is here in our country, so we welcome him here. And we pray for his safety and especially for his courage and all the challenges that he faces in the work that he does in his august role as the Vicar of Christ.  Especially, most especially, praying for his courage to conduct his work in the upcoming Synod on the Family, coming up very soon. It’s very much a concern of all of ours, and hoping that that will be handled well.

Our quick fix today is going to be on the virtue of integrity. Integrity is very important for us especially as parents, as fathers of families, mothers and fathers, to be able to display to our children. The reading, the lesson, this week was from St. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians on the seventeenth Sunday after Pentecost, and St. Paul tells them, “Brethren, I the prisoner of the Lord exhort you to walk in a manner [walk in a manner, that is a key word] worthy of the calling  with which you were called.  With all humility, with meekness, with patience bearing with one another in love careful to preserve the unity [unity, a keyword there] of the spirit of the bond of peace, one body and one spirit as if you were called in one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is above and throughout all and in us all who is blessed forever and ever. Amen.”

So that was the lesson that we got, and that will tell us a little bit about integrity in that l often will tell people, especially my children, when you observe really all we can go on is what people actually do. And observe what people do compared to what they say.  Because that is the real distinguishing thing.  We can say things all day long, but is it actually what we do?  And those of us who have children, that is especially important. Because yes it is important for us to teach the things, the teachings of the Church and roles in the family, but more particularly children, and people, learn really by example. So especially as fathers we are the most visible in our home. We stand in the place of God in our homes as priest, prophet, and king of our homes and our families, and they have to be able to see a visual example of how it is to live a Christian life.  And also observe that in their mother in the roles that we portray.

There are some people that are concerned about some outlandish things that are being said or possibly taught, especially from some of the clerics that are there that are maybe putting pressures upon the Pope and upon the Church to relax things. And so one, we need to know the teachings of the Church to be able to answer the questions of our children in regard to this. That’s why I emphasize the ‘one’ here because there is only one Faith, and the teachings of the Church can never be changed. So if we don’t know what those teachings are, then we can’t know if somebody is attempting to do something like change them. It’s for us the laity to educate ourselves and to know what those teaching are and then to be able to explain them to our children, to be able to pass on the fullness of the Faith uncompromised.

In these times things are a little bit volatile, things are a little bit questionable. But we can reassure them that nothing can be changed as far as these truths and teachings go. And that’s the oneness that we have, and that’s that integrity that keeps on throughout the ages. 

As things go on here, and we observe the changes in society, there are political pressures to relax things, and really strange things going on about, we just need to maintain our own integrity, and if we as a father can pass it on to our sons.  Especially for a mother; that she show the happiness of and contentment of being a wife and mother in the home.  She’s there homeschooling her children and she is satisfied there with her role there; that she doesn’t have to look outside the home for a feeling of importance or for something meaningful.  She knows that the most meaningful thing she can do there is to raise up these new souls that are coming into her home, that she’s given birth to.  Raising of those souls into the goodness of God and the fullness of the Truth.  What more important thing can there be?  A career of some kind of office job somewhere or something outside the home? This is the ultimate thing and as fathers we make it possible for them to be able to do that. That’s integrity.  That’s the fullness of what God intends for the family, mother, father, and children together there in the home.

So there we go a little bit on integrity especially directed toward families and the things that we recommend and promote here at Fix the Family.  Thanks for coming by, come back and see us next time.  My name is Raylan Alleman; God bless you. 


VIDEO: Benefiting from Adversity God Sends Us

Posted By at Monday, September 21, 2015

Often the adversities we encounter through no fault of our own include an opportunity for learning and growing.  We don't necessarily need to view them as punishments but to seek God's assistance to endure them and learn from them.  This is the way God strengthens men.



VIDEO: Dads, Train Your Children to Pray

Posted By at Monday, September 14, 2015

Parents have to train their children to make good choices.  St. Ignatius tells us that sincere prayer influences the way we think and the decisions we make.  So part of assisting our children in making good choices is training them in an effective consistent prayer life.

Are Catholics Training Their Daughters to be Unfaithful?

Posted By at Tuesday, September 08, 2015

We’ve been enjoying some fruitful discussion on our recent posts about the wife’s role in marriage as a mother and educator most recently in the last article and the subsequent video that covered some of the questions we received, which are pretty typical.  The response to the video was no different and generated these questions which obviously are a bit rhetorical:  “And what about that girl who skipped college to devote herself to being a wife and mother who finds herself married to an idiot who (pick one) drinks, cheats, gambles, has addiction problems, can't hold a job? How does she support the children and the big loser she's stuck with?”

Again, this is a very typical sentiment that we must examine at its root in order to resolve.  Most Catholics of today, even “good Catholics” who will typically send their children to Catholic schools have this line of questioning and concern.  One question we should ask ourselves is whether or not this reflects the philosophy of the Church.  Let’s not so much look at if it falls within the letter of the law and falls outside the boundaries of sin.  So supposedly the contemporary wisdom as a failsafe to “prevent” such a circumstance from arising is for the wife to get a degree and a job so that she can support herself and her children in the case the husband cannot or does not.  Can we possibly see some situations where this can become a self-fulfilling prophecy?

One such circumstance I’ve encountered quite often is for this type of woman with the degree and highly marketable skills will seem to attract the specific type of man mentioned above.  In this day and age, when the norm is for the wife to work so many men expect that to be the case.  So if she is a bit more motivated than he or if she has the skill that will earn more income, she can often become the principal breadwinner in the family.  The man may not admit it but this really does something to him psychologically.  Let’s take a quote from Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen’s book Freedom Under God, the Dignity of Labor recently quoted by Pope Francis related to a man working:  “A man without work feels in some way that he is refused citizenship in the advance army of civilization and denied unity with fellow workers who by their work have earned a right to leisure. Leisure is earned; unemployment is unearned.  Until his self-respect becomes completely destroyed, the unemployed man feels that he is not a part of the civilization in which he lives, because he has made no contribution to it.  Unemployment, in the eyes of the Catholic, takes its biggest toll not from the economic man, but from the moral man; its greatest wound is not the empty pocket, but the empty heart.” 

So why are these men behaving as mentioned above?  It may be because our society has wedged women into the workforce, and he is just complying.  But when a man can’t or doesn’t work, it impacts him in a different way than when a woman doesn’t.  Her natural tendency is toward her children, where as a man’s is toward his work.  We only have to look at the command of God in the Garden of Eden in Genesis to see why this might be.  The problem with the simplistic solution implicit in the viewer’s question is that it doesn’t just stop with the wife getting a degree or working until the couple decides to have children.  For starters, waiting to “decide to have children” is nowhere in Catholic philosophy because it is a contraceptive mentality.  The fact that a couple marries means that they are ready for children.  But working for the reason mentioned here requires that the skills be maintained which means that the wife will return to work soon after any babies are born.  That places the couple in the dual-career/dual-income/working mom/competing careers configuration which presents its very own set of challenges which we’ll address next.  But as far as the man goes, some of us just aren’t as ambitious as others so instead of competing and in order to be accommodating as popular society encourages today, certain men will let the wife do it.  So due to the psychological impacts mentioned above, he can often turn to those disordered behaviors described because he’s not needed in his role as provider.

The next circumstance we’ve probably all encountered is the set of challenges that a dual career configuration brings to a marriage.  Just drive through an average neighborhood on any given day.  They’re usually not only quiet but quite desolate, void of life.  Where are the children?  They are either at daycare or in school.  Often the mother has hired out the duties of raising the children so she can pursue something the world sees as more worthwhile.  But the children don’t see it that way.  They want to feel that they are important to their mother.  The mother buying into the lie that “you can have it all” picks up the kids from the daycare but they want to be with the one who cares for them all day.  She has very little left for them at the end of her day at work.  She battles her own emotions but often won’t admit it to her husband.  All these suppressed feelings along with the stresses of full-time work and cranky children are quite a strain.  This sets up a ripe situation of a severe occasion of sin to contracept and mutilate the body through sterilization, often of the husband.  This is both literal and figurative toward him.  These are grave mortal sins that couples routinely bring into their marriages at will.  The grace of the sacrament is snuffed out by sin, and the couple is easy prey for the evil one lying in wait to attack.  They are divided against each other living in their independent worlds like two ships passing in the night.

This is not the exception but the norm for so many Catholic marriages, and parents are pushing their adult college-age children into this arrangement.  If the duty given by God in Genesis to the man is to provide for his family and the young wife is told to get a degree and a career “just in case things don’t work out” what is she saying to the man she’s supposedly entrusting with her life?  So if this is his most basic of duties to his family but she doesn’t trust his with it, how much trust should he have in her?  Should he keep a “little black book” just in case she doesn’t fulfill her basic duties in the marriage?  Parents are placing doubt in their own daughters’ minds by encouraging them to prepare to fail and not trust men.   These marriages are built on a fragile foundation of mistrust and wariness.  No wonder so many marriages end so quickly today.  This in no way, shape, or form represents the Catholic philosophy of marriage.  Catholics need to be honest with themselves and assess what they’re doing as to whether is more closely resembles Catholicism or the principles of pagan feminism.  Is what our daughters doing as adults something that feminists would also do and laud?  If so, it’s likely not the right thing to do. 

What many young Catholic adult women and teenage girls are being prepared for is modern materialism and comfort over a life of sacrificial and frugal grace in the married state.  Part of the reason is that this is what they grew up with.  You would think they would want something more, something better.  But is it anywhere to be seen.  Yes it is.  There are very many large Catholic homeschooling families all across this great nation, and we’re growing.  Many of the children from those families will also have large families who will home school their children, and the cycle will continue.  Yes, we’re a tiny minority, but a happy one and one at peace.  The way of this pagan world is destructive and broken, and the children suffer, even if the parents manage to stay together.  Children want their mothers to raise them, not the daycare employee.  Routinely homeschooled children are recognized as being very well adjusted and calm.  It’s very edifying to see.  All it takes is parents with a Catholic vision for their marriage and their children’s lives.  Yes, we are seen as different but deep down it’s a good different people see.  Some just aren’t that willing and courageous to take the step.  For those who are, a life of complete fulfillment awaits you.  Come on and join us. 

God bless you+


Mothers as Educators

Posted By at Monday, August 24, 2015

The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute. The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2221)

“It is a great fallacy for parents to believe that the education of their children depends on the school. The school is not the primary educator, but the secondary; its authority to teach the children is delegated by the parents, the right inherent in the father and the mother. Nor is the school ever a substitute for the parents.” Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen (Thoughts for Daily Living)

This month our family attended our home school association’s annual fall registration meeting.  It was a great time to reunite with our support group of committed homeschooling families who share the same goals and standards.  We had a Priest, Fr. Jeffrey Jambon, offer a lecture specifically geared toward day-to-day “meat and potatoes” activities and regimen for homeschooling families.  Our producer recorded that talk on video and we’ll be uploading it to our You Tube channel in coming weeks.  I was particularly encouraged and excited by his lecture because many of the things he offered regarding routine we practice ourselves and have found they are quite effective.  We’re anxious to share his insights with you.

Our family has home schooled our children for the last 20+ years.  None of our children ever attended school away from home until after high school.  Currently we have one son in community college pursuing an associate degree toward obtaining an RN and another son at university in his 2nd year.  Both of them have done well academically scoring among honors levels in their respective schools.  We have taken the education of our children seriously and only want the best for them.  Fortunately, we were introduced to the concept of homeschooling before we actually had children.  We had a family that mentored us before marriage that was actually in the process of teaching their own children at the time.  The rest is history; we were hooked.

The decision to home school started with the intrigue of seeing this family.  They were a large, close-knit loving family that we found to be just “different” in a VERY GOOD way.  As far as families we had seen in the current society (25 years ago), both Catholic and non-Catholic, they had something we wanted.  We couldn’t necessarily say what it was but it was definitely attractive.  Looking back, it was a family that was living an authentic Catholic lifestyle.  It wasn’t like many families living like the rest of the world with a “Catholic” label on their shirts.  Of course this isn’t a judgment on all those who don’t home school saying they are not authentically Catholic, but I think we are all familiar with people who populate Catholic schools but live in public unrepented mortal sin, the most common being those divorced and remarried outside the Church.  The children in these families must be very confused and grow up conditioned to living around deliberate sin.   

That’s a huge issue facing the family today.  The lifestyle we recommend might be considered the “traditional” or what I’d consider the “natural” Catholic way of life.  It starts out with a married couple who are open to receiving children and the mother committed to staying home and raising those children.  To do so, the family relies on the husband to be the provider, and the wife does not work outside the home.  This enables them to be open to receiving more children.  By this time, most people begin to ask what the wife is supposed to do once the children go off to school.  Well, for one IF they did, she would still continue to have more children.  But our standard reply is that they DON’T go off to school.  This lifestyle “package” enables the mother to stay home, live on the husband’s income, bear more children, and educate them herself.  It is actually the natural progression and great need to the progressive society in which we live today.  We have never been in a better position for mothers to be able to completely educate their own children due to the level of education the mothers themselves have received along with the resources available to parents who educate their own children.

In many, if not most, cases parents who really do their research will find that they are actually obligated to home school their children.  “The Charter of the Rights of the Family, issued by (St.) Pope John Paul II in 1982, declares parents are not to send their children to any school which sets itself against their moral and religious convictions.”  (Catholic Home Schooling, Dr. Mary Kay Clark p.6)  Once we were informed of this obligation along with the other Catholic teachings and directives in Dr. Clark’s book, we felt it was incumbent upon us to take on the education of our own children.  That was the decision with schools in the state they were in 20 years ago, which has deteriorated even more so since.  From a moral standpoint, I came to the practical realization that it would be next to impossible to impart my morals and beliefs into my children if for the vast majority of their waking hours they were in a Godless environment amongst people with completely unknown moral and character standards.  How are we as parents supposed to "educate" and impart our moral philosophy to our children if we are only with them during their residual hours at the end of everyday when they are exhausted and unable to absorb anything more?  Many parents rely on Catholic schools to satisfy this obligation.  In reading Dr. Clark’s book, we realized that wasn’t necessarily a failsafe option in all cases.  Also, considering that most Catholic schools have to pay lay teachers because there are so few religious brothers and sisters to teach there, the cost to send their children to them is at odds with being open to having the large families the Church encourages us toward.  All things considered, the obvious answer to all of these concerns is home schooling.  I would encourage parents to make sure their high school children and college age children read this book in preparation for their future as Catholic parents.

There are many questions and objections to homes schooling that were much more prevalent when we started about 20 years ago, but with the passage of time and some results we can see that those concerns can be allayed.  The most common were the academic sufficiency of home education and the socialization of the students.  Since many elite universities welcome and recruit home schooled students now, the question of academic sufficiency should be satisfied.  As far as socialization, I would just encourage someone who has this question to just spend some time around some home schooled kids.  There are very much adept in this area and are not kept as recluses in the home.  Actually the home is a better environment to learn true social skills.  We have to stop and think if we have ever worked in an environment where the people we associated with all day long were of the same age and academic level as ourselves.  This actually makes the typical classroom setting much more artificial for the students.  It is definitely more of a method of processing large numbers of children at the same time for efficiency.  Parents with their genuine concern and the attention of a fewer number of children can really do a much better job.  With the moral issues we see today, I have very serious reservations of wanting my children to “socialize” with other children randomly grouped together in a classroom.  There’s no way for me to know what’s going on in those children’s homes, what they are being exposed to, and what they are allowed to do.

As parents, we may feel that this is just too weird, that we don’t want our kids to be that different, that we want them to be “normal.”  I know I first thought of it as weird when first hearing about home schooling since I was not familiar with it and went to public (government) schools all my life.  Once I became informed and actually met more and more home schooling families, it became quite different.  It was actually exciting to take on this role with our children.  Then when we actually started teaching them and saw the results, it became so rewarding.  It does take a lot of effort but anything that is rewarding does, and those that ultimately benefit the most are our own children.  They have had no difficulty in continuing their education or acquiring good employment.  We encourage all Catholic families to prayerfully consider and become properly informed through credible resources this superior educational option for your children.

God bless you+



VIDEO: 6 (+2) Reasons to NOT Send Daughters to College-Wise Young Lady Acts!

Posted By at Tuesday, August 18, 2015

A wise and intelligent young lady acts on the wisdom of our most notorious blog post with the support of her parents, both of whom are college professors.  God bless this most functional and honest family.  Natural law in this case wins out.  Here's the link to the article that changed her life 6 Reasons (+2) to NOT Send Your Daughter to College