As little girls grow up,
they dream about their future. What’s
most on a little girl’s mind growing up?
Does she watch and listen to stories like Snow White and Cinderella dreaming
of her prince charming and a beautiful wedding?
I think most do. But we all know
those are fairy tales right? They’re
just made up stories. Because the
reality is that most little girls grow up today, yes and get married but they
also are driven to “dream” of a wonderful “career” that will fulfill their
desires to make a contribution to society.
I have come to learn that this is really quite unnatural to the little
girl, and the process described above is actually called indoctrination
orchestrated by a worldly machine that has a vested interest in little girls
who grow up to become women who become part of the workforce. Not only does this do an injustice to her
true natural femininity, but it also severely suppresses a much greater
contribution more women used to make to the world in greater abundance: motherhood.
We can see the effect of
this from an economic standpoint. For
instance in the United States, we have seen a dramatically diminished labor
workforce (men) which has created the need to import laborers. There are many employers who simply don’t
have enough men to do manual labor, and that’s after we have also exported most
of those jobs. We proudly say that this
is because those are low-paying jobs that individuals in less-progressive
countries are capable of doing, while we are a “service economy” that has
higher quality jobs that pay better. We
are all aware of the extremely vulnerable position the U.S. economy currently
faces. We have a sky-rocketing debt, and
we import an enormous amount of the goods we consume. So those creditor nations we owe seek to keep
us thriving as a good customer and continuing to borrow and buy from them. This is touted by our leaders as
“progress.” Yes, more and more of these
occupations are those that are geared toward women as they do not require
manual labor. Women (mothers) are
expected to work outside the home, and as they get more consumed by their jobs,
there is less time and attention that they have for being a mother.
Of course no one expects to
see this freight train of an agenda slow down anytime soon. But there are some of us who have become
aware of the agenda in one way or another, see that it is counter to an
authentic Catholic lifestyle, and have chosen something better for ourselves
and for our children. I still recall one
of the greatest blessings Missy and I received as a couple before we were
married. I was aware from a great Priest
in my home parish growing up that contraception was condemned by the Catholic
Church, but that there were acceptable means of “postponing pregnancy,” or as
the Catechism says “regulation of procreation.” (¶2368 et al) So, once we got engaged and had serious
conversations about our future, we voluntarily sought out classes in natural
family planning. Fortunately the couple
who taught us also advised us to not use it right away but to wait until it was
really needed. So we did, and soon after
we were married we were expecting a child.
Another fortunate thing we learned was the significance of a
stay-at-home mother for children. The
interesting thing was how we learned this.
No, it wasn’t from the pulpit at the Churches we attended but this was
actually still being taught when we were in college in the late 1980’s in a
parenting class we took together. Yes in
a parenting class at a public university, she and I were taught that it was the
ideal for a child to grow up in a 2-parent family where the mother stayed home
to raise and take care of the children.
Fortunately, meeting the
couple who taught us NFP sent us on a journey through life where God continued
to connect us with the right people who evidenced what we were taught in that
college class. Missy never took a paying
job, as we had a semester left before graduation when we got married and soon
conceived. Of course we have gone on to
have 7 children, and she has been their school teacher all along homeschooling
them from elementary through high school.
So far, 3 of them have graduated.
We have been so fulfilled with this completely natural lifestyle, and
our children have been as well. They are
so fulfilled that they wish for the same for themselves. Some say that this is taking away
opportunities for the girls who may want to “do something with their lives.” They say they feel sorry for our daughters and
others who may live this way or who may propose this for their daughters. I actually feel extremely sorry for them and
their daughters, although so much more.
Why do so many people rob their daughters of being full-time mothers
forcing them to attend college and take on jobs? Why are they forcing their values on their
children? Why not expose their children
to other philosophies and let them decide for themselves? It is very apparent that many who are in
college are not there by their own decision.
Unfortunately, this agenda
has a domino effect because there are many young men who would want their wives
to be stay-at-home mothers but aren’t able to find young ladies who have been
raised with this type of ambition. Most
really don’t know how to mother, haven’t seen it done, and wouldn’t know what
to do as a homemaker. They are very well
versed in doing the job of a provider, and have seen their mothers do it all of
their lives. The problem is that this is
the man’s role as provided by God since the beginning (ref Gen 3:19). So little girls have basically been raised to
act like men in the family sense.
Surely, almost all feel the natural urge to have children and will have
the obligatory pair, 1 boy and 1 girl to feel complete. But once they see the demands of children and
how contrary it is to their well-ordered career, they will usually abandon the
prospect of any more. My dear brothers
and sisters, this is the way of a pagan culture and totally juxtaposed to the
Catholic philosophy and moral law.
Raising our daughters to pursue careers puts them in a near occasion of
sin to contracept and mutilate their bodies through sterilization
procedures. I had a theologian admit as
much, and we all know this is rampant among Catholic couples. This type of discussion will often anger some
of those who read it, and undoubtedly it is because of guilt, which is likely
well-placed. It goes without saying that in some cases, the mother in the family MUST work to help provide for the family. This should be viewed as an unfortunate circumstance, not a planned style of life. There's a big difference. If a father's income is not sufficient to makes ends meet, it is much better for him to have a sideline source of income rather than for his wife to work. This is for two reasons. One is for the extra needed income. The second is that in a free enterprise capitalist economy it is not uncommon for that sideline income to eventually eclipse the full-time income and turn into a small business that will give the father more income for his time and greater control of his schedule to spend with his family.
But really that’s not the
point of this article. As said, many
people have taken this route because they were never exposed to any other way. We often hear that it takes two incomes to
have a family today. Does it
really? And do we call that
“progress?” Is it possible that families
want two incomes because they are
materialistic? There is a capital sin
called avarice to be considered here.
Nevertheless, the point is to inform those who will hear that it is
possible for a mother to stay home full-time and raise her own children. Not only is it possible, but it is highly
recommended and advisable.
As I said, many wonderful
people were put into our path that mentored and supported us along the way in
the development of our family philosophy.
Many of the elements of that philosophy can be found in a book about a
mother who lived a similar lifestyle and raised her daughters to do the same
called See You in Heaven. I like the way she puts her
thoughts on this topic:
wrong with the mother in the home? Not a
thing. Rather, we should say again,
“She’s what is right with the home.” …It
is precisely because the mother is NOT home that we have all the many ills in
our society today. If she does not
return home to her place of freedom, honor, and integrity her husband and
children and grandchildren will reap even greater ills and so will our
society. We do not need more women CEOs
and lawyers and whatever. The needs is for
true mothers in the home. …
only do we NOT hear parents promoting a vocation of “mother in the home,” they
are actually afraid of what the world will think if their daughter does not get
an advanced balanced education. What is
more balanced and true to life than mothering?
What’s “right” with a daughter staying home and helping mother with
schooling and learning virtues from her own mother and learning the gentle
needle arts? Just about everything. What great Works of Mercy she practices when
she does this…
said that if you corrupt a man, you corrupt a man. But if you corrupt a woman,
you corrupt society…
G.K. Chesterton brilliantly states in “What’s Wrong with the World” how very
important the home is. He says, “Women
were not kept at home in order to keep them narrow; on the contrary, they were
kept at home in order to keep them broad.
The world outside the home was one mass of narrowness, a maze of cramped
paths, a madhouse of monomaniacs.
It is important to know that
the book is written about the life of a woman who was known to be very devout,
possibly even holy, so holy that her cause is up for canonization as prompted
by her Priest who knew her well spiritually.
Thus, her thoughts are to be taken very seriously.
It is understandable that
this type of lifestyle is difficult to accept and embrace since we live in such
a feminist-dominated culture. But we
must look around and come to grips with the causes of the fundamental problems
that families face and the prudent choices it will take to overcome them. We just need to look to the Church and see
where Her constant teaching is directing us and follow that path. It is not the path of the world, quite
opposite. That’s why living as an
authentic Catholic has always required courage.
God bless you+